A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words...But The Playoff Picture Might Be More

First, lets take a look at the teams that just got left out of this year's party. The list includes:

In the East, my crystal ball shows the 76ers keeping in the playoff hunt until the end but ultimately losing out. The fact that the words '76ers' and 'playoff hunt' were just used in the same sentence is beyond me. Unfortunately, they have an extremely difficult final 25 games (including 2 against Orlando, 2 against Cleveland, 2 against Boston, 2 against Detroit, and games against loads of other high-quality teams) and no reliable player(s) to lead them. The sad thing is, the Sixers are not good enough to make the playoffs (where they would just lose right away anyways) but not pathetic enough to land a lottery pick. They needed to make a move at the deadline to either improve their roster or improve their chances of landing a high draft pick next season and didn't. Almost every other team in the league has a plan instilled, while Phili seems content staying mediocre at best. Good teams are good, while bad teams try and be as bad as possible in order to restart and become good teams. Phili, though, is not going in either direction.

Chicago is another team that will fall short of any playoff aspirations this season. Their best player comes off the bench, they just traded their veteran leader and only playoff-proven guy, their other "franchise" player is quickly becoming one of the most overrated players in the L, and their supporting cast has been nothing but dissapointing (with the exception of Joe Smith, who they just traded, along with Ben Wallace, for Larry Hughes, a guy who shoots 32% in layup lines, and the rights to Drew Gooden's beard.). It's insane that this team was acctually a pre-season favorite out of the East.

Out on the Western side of things, I see the Houston Rockets becoming one of the best teams ever to not make the playoffs. In fact, I had them in the 8th spot up until today when news of Yao Ming's broken foot...umm...for lack of a better word; broke. Houston is a very good team with important peices that make them look like a championship contender. The dominant big man (pre-injury), the superstar wingman, a solid starting point guard, and many tough-nosed defenders. Also, their supporting cast could knock down their open jumpers. Sadly, the underlying theme of this Rockets team seems to be dissapointment. T-Mac and crew always seem to come up short. Maybe next year, boys. (Also, I really didnt care for the job Houston did at the trade deadline. The Gerald Green trade was fine, I would take a waiver on him too. He's raw and unproven but draws constant comparisons to Tracy McGrady, so who else to teach him and have him go up against every day in practice but Tracy McGrady? It was the other trade, though, that stunk. They gave up their best backup PG and maybe their best spot-up shooter on the team for a worse, more selfish, and older backup PG. Not only that, but they threw away a perfectly good Bonzi Wells. So he's been a little rusty of late, he can still play and guard the two thru four, he's got playoff experience, and he's proven to be a big-game player. This trade just doesnt make sense to me.)

Elsewhere, Portland put up a strong fight and even if they finish off horribly this season should still be considered a success, but any playoff aspiration would be simply foolish. The Blazers are good, but they rest of the West is just better. Stay up, my young ones, for your time will come sooner than later.

So without further adieu, here are this year's playoff teams:

Lets start in the East (I know, I know, they don't really matter...but the article would look silly without it):

8th Seed: The New Jersey Nets.

Hopefully the Nets can ride the memory of Jason Kidd just enough to keep themselves in the playoffs. The bottom line is, New Jersey is not a good basketball squad. Marcus Williams and Devin Harris are too similar and will need to split time. What both of them need, instead, is a veteran point guard to teach them and the keys to the team. Neither of them will be able to develop into the players they should be while they are battling eachother. On top of that problem, the nets have no interior threats. Sean Williams, Desagana Diop, Stromile Swift (9 and 5 for life), Josh Boone, and Nenad Kristic make up a group of below-average posts with major holes lacking in each of their games. A tough remaining schedule doesn't help New Jersey's cause, either. Also, one last reason the Nets cannot succeed? It starts with a 'V', ends in an 'R', and in the middle there's a 'ince Carte'.

7th Seed: The Atlanta Hawks.

The Hawks are not a success story. They should not be considered a surprise team nor should they be considered improved in any way. The Hawks simply get to capitolize on the miserable state of the Eastern Conference. Any other year, this exact squad would be right back at its Atlanta-Reserved table near the back of the restaurant by the kitchen door. When everybody else sucks so bad, the Hawks, in turn, look average by comparison.

6th Seed: The Washington Wizards.

The Wiz can be dangerous come playoff time. Ok, stop laughing and acctually read this. The current Wizards have managed to stay a top 6 seed this entire season with relatively nobody playing for them. Now, factor in the return of All-Star Caron Butler from a recent injury, the return of superstar Gilbert Arenas from season-threatening knee surgery, and the return of emotional-boost Etan Thomas from offseason Heart Surgery. IF Arenas and Thomas acctually do make their returns (more so Arenas), this Washington club would definitely become one of the more dangerous bottom-half (5th seed and under) teams in this year's playoffs.

5th Seed: The Toronto Raptors.

In all, it's been an average season for the Raps. They arent quite sorry enough to be a lower seed, but they arent strong enough to deal with any of the higher seeds, either. I dont see anything spectacular coming out of Canada this time. (On a side note, I love the Dixon-Brezec trade for the sole purpose of the Brezec-Nesterovic matchup every day in practice. Can we somehow get a video of this? Its like Longley-Wennington only crappier and without MJ, Pippen, or Rodman there. )

4th Seed: The Cleveland Cavaliers.

Cleveland is a very good team and as long as Lebron is healthy they can beat anyone, anywhere, anytime. Their biggest problem is that they're in the same Division as the Pistons, and because of the NBA's stupid playoff structure, that makes 4th spot the best they can possibly finish. Still, with last year's experience combined with their solid new additions (4 good enough players for zero good players), the Cavs have to be a favorite to come out the East no matter where they're ranked. (On a side note: 82games.com made a chart showing what player's stats would look like if they played 48 minutes per game of 'Cluth Time'. 'Clutch Time' is defined as the last 5 minutes of overtimes and 4th quarters when neither team is up by more than 5. Lebron's stats in 48 minutes of Clutch Time? 59 points, 10 rebounds, 8 assists, 2 blocks, and 3 steals. Bottom line? As good as he is, he's better when it matters.)

3rd Seed: The Orlando Magic.

The Magic have cooled off since the start of the season, backtracking from Great to Good. Their franchise guy is still unreliable on offense, they're inexperienced in the playoffs, and their bench is miserable (23.2 PPG, good for 2nd worst in the NBA). I just dont trust this squad yet. They only get 3rd seed because of they strong start and because there is no other legitamite threats in their Division. (Dwight Howards stats per 48 minutes of Clutch Time: 16 points, 17 rebounds, and 0 assists on 47% FG. The rebounds are expected, and I can handle the less-than-impressive points and assists numbers in the clutch, but the part that really bothers me is the shooting. 47% compared to his regular 60% FG shooting is a major slip. This shows me that this guy doesn't pick up his game when the situation calls for it.)

2nd Seed: The Detroit Pistons.

These guys are winners. They're proven, they've been in the tough situations before and they have experienced great success. The scary part is, though, their roster keeps getting worse but their team keeps getting better. Rip, Chauncey, and Sheed, their three-headed All-Star tandem, are not getting any younger or any better and Ben Wallace, their old anchor, is gone. Somehow, though, the Pistons have been able to plug in young guys and older role players (ie: Antonio McDyess, Jason Maxiell, Amir Johnson, Flip Murray, etc...) into much larger roles and they've excelled. Its crazy but I feel like anyone can be thrown onto Detroit's roster and somehow contribute.

1st Seed: The Boston Celtics.

Although they seem to be stumbling a bit as of late, the C's should be able to hold on long enough to hang onto their #1 spot. In my opinion the KG injury was the best thing that could have happened to Boston. Fine, it cost them a couple more numbers in the Loss column than they would have liked, but it gave guys like Leon Powe and Glenn Davis huge oppertunities to step up when they never would have been able to with The Big Ticket in the lineup. Heck, even guys like Rajon Rondo and Kendrick Perkins looked like franchise players on some nights. Rather than having a 3-person roster, the Celtics have shown glimpses of reliablity from Rondo, Perkins, Posey, Davis, Powe, House, and T.Allen. All of a sudden, Boston has depth come playoff time, something that can be unfathomably valuable.

Now onto the Wild Wild West:

8th Seed: The Golden State Warriors

The Warriors luck out with the Yao foot injury, making them the favorable option to land the 8th seed (again). It's pretty much the same roster as last year plus the league's all-time greatest un-lucky charm Chris Webber. I'm sorry, but as much as I love this team, as fun as they are to watch, I don't see them catching that fire they found during last year's first round. I won't say they got lucky last year, because they deserve all the accolades they get for knocking off the #1, but I don't see them catching fire again this year like they did last time around. Then again, GS is one of those rare "You-Never-Know, Anything-Can-Happen" teams that I would absolutely never bet my money against.

7th Seed: The Denver Nuggets.

So the Nuggets couldn't pull off a deal to aquire Artest and become the newest and Baddest Boys. Instead, they've chosen to keep their roster of 99% scorers, one worthless point guard, and one excellent defender. This team has some problems they need to adress, big time. How can bench sparks like JR Smith or Linas Kleiza make impacts in the postseason without only scoring? How will Iverson-and-Anthony work in pressure situations (something we havnt seen yet)? We know Marcus Camby can grab 25 rebounds and\or block 7 shots, but can he acctually guard someone and shut them down (something he has been very average at)? Bottom line, this team has great talents but I just dont see them winning together. They'll make the playoffs but get knocked out quick like a Nene nut.

6th Seed: The Phoenix Suns.

It's gonna take some time to get used to their new, BIG changes. Although, on paper, this team looks like a championship frontrunner; greatness doesn't just happen, it takes time. What I liked most about the Shaq deal, though, was the quiet handoff of the keys to the team from Steve Nash to Amare Stoudamire. I've been watching Phoenix for years and it was always Steve's team, Amare was just his primary target. Now, the team has a different feel. All of a sudden, Amare is the clear cut franchise guy here. Steve Nash suddenly went from 'incredible player' to 'incredible point guard'. Another thing I liked about the Shaq deal was the underrated Phoenix medical staff. All those people claiming that Shaq is done and he wont make a difference anymore because he cant play like he used to need to look at the evidence. They have managed to keep an elderly Steve Nash playing at an elite level, they've managed to bring Amare back from career-threatening Microfracture surgery to become one of the most dominant players in the league, and possibly most impressive, they've managed to keep Grant Hill and his ankles in the lineup, a feat nobody has been able to do longer than a couple weeks since 2001. They should be able to knock at least 3 or 4 years of rust off of the Big Cactus.

5th Seed: The New Orleans Hornets.

When The Hornets started out in 1st place, it was cute. It was fun to see the Hornets, the New Orleans Hornets, sitting atop the West standings ahead of teams like Phoenix, Dallas, and San Antonio. But then things turned from fun to scary real quick. Suddenly 3rd year player Chris Paul's name was being circulated in MVP talks and the team was beating actual powerhouse teams as if they were supposed to. Its like Soulja Boy coming out with his "Crank That" song. It was fun and amusing, but it was also a one-hit-wonder if I've ever heard one. Then all of a sudden he's got new songs, he's selling albums and he's got established artists featured on his tracks now. Neither the Hornets nor Soulja Boy are supposed to still be good. If feel like I'm taking crazy pills here!

4th Seed: The San Antonio Spurs.

As long as the Spurs make the playoffs, they have to be an odds-on favorite to repeat as champions. Duncan, Ginobili, and Parker seem to find "Mike's Secret Stuff" in the Tunesquad lockerroom every time the playoffs role around. They also brought in a hard-nosed toughguy defender in Kurt Thomas and a smart, veteran floor general in Damon Stoudlemire to run the team off the bench and knock down shots. They also have smart veteran players in Bruce Bowen and Mike Finley, and just in case they get stuck in a tight situation, they can still use Robert Horry. This team seems to have every position covered. Their only problem? An average age of 47 years old. If they don't do it this year, it might never happen again.

3rd Seed: The Utah Jazz.

Not the 3rd best team in the West, but the best team in the Northwest Division, ultimately making them the 3rd seed. Utah is nowhere near a bad team, they have the new age Stockton-Malone in Deron Williams and Carlos Boozer. Boozer has been a surprisingly efficient scorer (21.5 PPG on 54%FG) and rebounder (10.8 RBPG) for a once-second round pick, while Williams has a chance to become the 3rd player in NBA history (next to Magic Johnson and Kevin Johnson) to average 20 points, 10 assists and shoot 50%FG in a reason (currently 19.3, 9.7, and 52%). The rest of the team is very dissapointing, though. Mehmet Okur (All-Star in 06'-07' with averages of 18 and 7 on 46%FG and 1.6 threes per game to 07'-08' averages of 13 and 6 on 42%FG and 1.3 threes), Kyle Korver (11, 2, and 1), Ronnie Brewer (12, 3, and 2 in almost 28 minutes), Matt Harpring (8, 3, and 1), Paul Millsap (8 and 6), and Andrei Kirilenko (12, 5 and 4 with below-career-averages in blocks and steals) are not a good enough supporting cast to win any championships. Utah is an above-average team and thats where it ends.

2nd Seed: The Dallas Mavericks.

On paper, the Mavs look dangerous, but in reality I see a lot of individual talents that won't translate into team sucess. They did manage to bring in a future Hall of Famer and one of the top 8 point guards of all time but I just dont know if he's the right fit. Dallas is a slower team which likes to walk the ball up and set up an offense, while Kidd is more suited for a run-and-gun style. Like Bill Simmons said in a recent article, who else on this team other than Josh Howard is gonna run with Ason (he still has no J, by the way). It'll also be interesting to see how Dirk Nowitski, the reigning MVP, will be able to accept the new leadership of Kidd, who happens to be one of the greatest team-leaders in NBA history. How is Dirk gonna handle it? Dallas should still win enough games off of sheer talent alone to land a top seed in the conference...what they can accomplish after that is still up in the air.

1st Seed: The Lakers of Los Angeles.

Great Defense. Great Offense. Size. Speed. Talent. Young & Experienced. Athletic & Strong. Great team players. Great shooters. Great remaining schedule. 11 playable guys in the rotation. Derek Fisher. Kobe Bryant. Lamar Odom. Pau Gasol. Andrew Bynum. Jordan Farmar. Sasha Vujacic. Trevor Ariza. Vladamir Radmanovic. Luke Walton. Rony Turiaf. Most importantly; Kobe Bryant.

That looks just about right...so lets move onto how the playoffs will unfold

Eastern Conference Round 1:

#1 Boston over #8 New Jersey in 4. Boston will run right through an overmatched Nets squad that should never be in any playoff series, ever. The Big Jesus Truth Ticket wont have to tire themselves out too much in order to get to the next round. Just keep in mind that New Jersey's undisputed best player (Carter) is arguably worse than Boston's 3rd best player (Allen).

#4 Cleveland over #5 Toronto in 5. The Raps just don't have enough to match up with Lebron and the new-look Cavs. A team's play is usually the image of it's star player's game; bidding Lebron James and Chris Bosh against eachother head-to-head in an uncontested matchup. I see Lebron playing like MJ3000 once again while Chris Bosh struggles to get over the hump yet again. I'll give T.O. one win because they have streaky players who can catch fire and because they have one of the best home crowds in the league, but other than that, its all Cleveland in this series.

#3 Orlando over #6 Washington in 7. This is going to be an unremarkably tight one. Orlando should finish off the season with a good looking record, but they would be in trouble if they faced an established team come playoff time. Washington, normally, would be an enormous underdog in this matchup, but their roster will look like that of a much higher seed. Antawn Jamison's Wizards will last the 6th seed, but the Wizards of Jamison, Butler and Arenas (maybe) is what Orlando will be dealing with in the first round. Thats an entirely different team. I predict Washington putting up a huge fight in this one, but ultimately their lack of playing time together will succumb to Orlando's polished, season-long play.

#2 Detroit over #7 Atlanta in 4. HA! Next?

Western Conference Round 1:

#1 Los Angeles over #8 Golden State in 6. I Honeslty think that the Warriors could beat the Mavs (again), the Jazz, the Suns, the Hornets, and the Nuggets in the first round. The Lakers, though, are not a team I see the warriors beating. Both teams have A+ offenses, but the defensive end is where Los Angeles takes a major lead. With crafty and tough defenders Derek Fisher (underratedly one of the best defensive point guards there is, he was able to stop Baron last year when the Jazz eliminated the Warriors) and Kobe Bryant (an All-World defender, like everything else he does) out on the wing, Lamar Odom's versatility (He can guard Jackson, Barnes, Harrington, Webber or Biendrins and do a great job on all of them), and Pau Gaso and Andrew Bynum protecting the net, I dont see GS being able to do whatever they want like last year's Dallas series. GS is still tough as hell and definitely will not go down without a fight. Expect a competitive series for a 1-vs-8, but without the same result as last year's.

#4 San Antonio over #5 New Orleans in 6. Sorry for New Orleans, but they're the perfect team for San Antonio to warm up and get into gear with. The Hornets had a great season, surprising pretty much everyone, but they wont be able to hang with the Spurs in this one. It wont be that easy, though, because New Orleans is more experiences than they look at first glace. True, the team hasnt made the playoffs since MJ-knows-when, but Morris Peterson has a couple playoff series under his belt, Peja has gone to the conference finals, and Bonzi Wells has had some big series as well. Chris Paul and David West need to start somewhere, don't they? Either way, it wont really matter because the Spurs have Tim Duncan, Manu Ginobili, and Tony Parker.

#6 Phoenix over #3 Utah in 6. A classic case of the playoff seeding system backfiring. Phoenix will probably finish with a better record than the Jazz and be the better team in the matchup, but they finish lower because Utah plays in a crappy division that doesnt include the Lakers. As far as this series goes, though, Steve Nash and Deron Williams cancel out, Carlos Boozer can almost play up to Amare Stoudamire's level, and I'll even cancel out Andrei Kirilenko and Shaq as the intangibles X-Factor guy. After that, how is Utah's average supporting cast (Shown earlier) gonna match up with Grant Hill, Boris Diaw, Raja Bell, and Leandros Barbosa? They wont. Thats how. (On a side note, knowing Shaq's hatred for white centres, and knowing that Mehmet Okur couldnt guard Earl Boykins in the post, I'm interest to see how much Diesel fuel is REALLY left.)

#2 Dallas over #7 Denver in 5. Dallas has learnt its lesson from last year. Rather than killing themselves for the best record in the regular season and then burning out in the postseason, they've been saving some energy in order to be fresh for the postseason. Denver can't really ball with Dallas, so it might seem like the Mavs will be turning on the Nitrous, but in reality they'll just be beating a team that they're better than. In the end, Melo will end up strengthening his T-Mac-esque rep of coming up short.

Only one 7-game series in the first round, let's hope theres more excitement to come.

Nice warmups, now onto the 2nd round:

#1 Boston over #4 Cleveland in 7. Whoa! What a series this is going to be. Lebron James will be completely and utterly unstoppable while the rest of the team needs only to focus on defense and hitting their open shots. On the other end, Paul Peirce, Ray Allen, and Kevin Garnett will all play like superstars on the wrong end of their careers with the eye of the tiger in them to win that elusive championship while the youngers stars look to establish and prove themselves. To be totally honest, I have no idea what to expect. It'll be a game 7 one way or another, but my Boston choice was a total coin-flip. The team that gets the luckiest will win, and it just so happens that Tails meant Bostom.

#2 Detroit over #3 Orlando in 6. Detroit will be fresh off an easy series against Atlanta which promises to end early, while Orlando will be coming off a dogfight against Washington, giving them only a few days to prepare before facing the powerhouse Pistons. Chauncey Billups will totally manhandle poor Jameer Nelson, Rip Hamilton will show Hedo Turkoglu how the playoffs are done, and Tayshaun Prince will use his length and experience to totally knock Rashard Lewis. Dwight Howard will be looked to to carry the team but Rasheed Wallace will teach him the hard way that this is a man's league. (Now, if Orlando would ever play BetterBasketball's "Greatest Shooter of All Time", then it might be a different story.)

#1 Los Angeles over #4 San Antonio in 7. Many people will be fooled into thinking that San Antonio was up to its old tricks of hitting the nitrous buttom come playoff time by the result of the New Orleans series. In fact, the Spurs will beat the Hornets because they are the flat out better team. The same could not be said for their matchup against the Lakers. It'll be interesting to see if San Antonio can acctually do it again by clicking when it matters, but I highly doubt it. As someone who has won a championship, albeit a CEGEP Provincial Championship, I can attest that in order to win, everything has to go right. We began as the 8th seed out of 8 teams and ended up inprobably beating team after team that would have beaten us any other time. Its hard to explain but the team just clicked at the exact right moment. It's impossible to predict or purposely obtain, because the following year we finished 4th, but the Spurs seem to be pretty lucky with it. I just feel like they've lucked out too many times already, and matching up against a dominant Lakers squad this time, they wont be able to pull out another one. (Robert Horry, Mike Finley; you will be missed.)

#6 Phoenix over #2 Dallas in 6. I chose this one off pure matchups. Jason Kidd and Steve Nash cancel eachother out, although Nash is more suited for his team and more used to the system he runs. Raja Bell and Jerry Stackhouse cancel eachother out, with Raja's defensive advantage making up for Jerry's offensive edge. Barbosa and Terry cancel eachother out as lethal scoring threats off the bench. Brian Skinner and Brandon Bass cancel eachother out as the muscle off the bench. Grant Hill and Boris Diaw cancel out with Josh Howard, with Hill and Diaw's all-around, team-oriented skills leveling off with Howard's offensive weaponry. Dirk Nowistki and Amare Stoudamire cancel eachother out, with Dirk's offensive skill and versatility matching Amare's dominant explosiveness. It all comes down to the centre, where Shaq will be matched up against his long-time punchingbag, Erika Dampier. Lets just say Shawn Marion be statistically more impressive and more versatile on both ends of the floor, but he just can't dominate the way Shaquille Rashawn O'neal can. Nobody can.

It's starting to get crazy! Conference Finals time!:

#2 Detroit over #1 Boston in 6. For 3 reasons:

A) Rasheed Wallace might be the only player in the league capable of matching KG's intensity and ferocity in big games. The big difference is that Sheed has gotten the job done before.

B) Detroits been here a thousand times while a conference finals game will be all too new for Boston. This means Detroit already knows what to expect and can feel comfortable while Boston needs to adjust and get used to the pressures of a series of this magnitude. Keep in mind, Boston might have some great players who have spent a large sum of years in this league, but only three guys (Paul Pierce , Eddie House, even thought he never played for that 06' Suns team, and James Posey) out of their entire rotation (KG, Allen, Rondo, Perkins, Big Baby, Powe, and T.Allen) has ever gotten this far.

C) The best matchup never happens (See: Giants Vs. Packers, 2008). With a matchup pending against either the Lakers or the Suns, the Celtics would be everyone's choice to make it out of the East for sheer entertainment purposes. As great as it would be, these things never end up happening.

#6 Phoenix over #1 Los Angeles in 7. After the toughest matchup in the West for the first round against the Warriors, followed by a grind-it-out 7-game series against the defending champs, the Lakers will be pooped. Poor, un-experienced Andrew Bynum, Lamar Odom, and Pau Gasol will be lost by this point and Kobe Bryant, sensing some sort of team-fatigue in which he could never understand, will resort to his usual takeover mentality which can be hit or miss (plus, I'm sure he has a little bit to prove against his ol' buddy Shaq). In all, I dont see the Lakers lasting long enough to beat the experienced, talented, and rested Suns. Not only that, but by this time the team should be completely used to playing together and should be running on all cylinders. Nothing sparks a team quite like shaking things up; and while it may seem rocky at the moment, once the Suns start to click, they'll be unstoppable and it'll all come together at the exact right time. Still, this should prove to be a series for the ages.

Finals, Baby! Bill Walton, crack out the tye-dye shirts!

Phoenix Suns over the Detroit Pistons in 5.

Detroit will put up more of a fight than the 5-game series lets on, mainly because Steve Nash will be rendered totally useless on the defensive end and Phoenix will need to shift up their lineup a lot. In the end, though, the Pistons will be completely overmatched and Phoenix will roll on through to their franchise's first championship. Steve Nash will finally get his ring which justifies his 2 MVP trophies, Amare Stoudamire will spark the beginning of one of the most dominant careers in NBA history and receive his first (possible more to come?) Finals MVP Trophy, Grant Hill will threngthen his case for a HOF bid, and Shaq will finish off the last finger and propel himself into the Chamberlain-Russell degree-of-greatness debates. In the end, Phoenix will make tons of high-paid, important sports writers look very dumb and one, blog-writing kid look very smart.

So there you have it, the Phoenix Suns will be this year's champions. You might as well go ahead and sell your TV sets for some extra cash 'cuz you wont be needing them anymore.